Monday, August 9, 2010

"i do"


Let’s face it. Marriage is an endangered species. Why commit the next fifty years of your life to someone when you have the option to try em’ out for awhile and then eventually find something better if it doesn’t work out? In fact, despite my conservative beliefs about marriage and family, I too…found myself reading a book entitled, “What are men for?” Before I met Jason, my ears would get hot and my heart would pound as …she …walked…down…the…aisle towards a life time of being with the same person for eternity! Sitting in the audience of each wedding I attended, my heart would silently scream…”run!” To my surprise, no one at any wedding I had ever attended actually ran. They stayed and vowed to give each other their forever just.like.that.
I knew I wanted to marry someday but if I reached down into the depths of the dark part of my heart, there in the crevasses…it didn’t look too promising. Most people tell you marriage is “hard but worth it.” To me, that sounded like a married couple telling me they would rather be single but had to tell themselves there was a reason for their suffering.
Now I realize that I am only 2 months into being an official “wife” but let me tell you that I am truly the happiest I have ever been. I believe that the marriage ceremony is one of the last most amazing things about our American culture…not to mention powerful.
As Jason and I stood, shoulders squared, eyes softly locked, “hearts pounding” and “ears hot”…it all made sense. I could never imagine marrying anyone because I had never met the man across from me. Marriage is not just a vow. It is the bravest most sober choice anyone could ever make.
There across from me, stood this man whom I respected and loved, who was willing to give me his heart, life, future, and life commitment for the rest of his life. There is nothing more powerful and intimate than making a marriage vow in front of everyone who knows you, loves you, and supports you. I am a very independent person but there is something about marriage that helped me take a deep breath and relax...security.
I now have a partner in life who can pick up the pieces if I can’t carry all of them; I now have someone who is on my team even if my team is losing.
When Jason made a vow to me, it was like one of the greatest gifts of grace I had ever been given. We both knew that the vow does not guarantee happiness or satisfaction. Standing there, we both knew that the only thing these vows guarantee is commitment…no matter if we want to run or not.